| Romance
& Relationships
The Art of
Seduction
by Sharon Jacobsen
Seduction is a question of subtle strategy
with one ultimate goal - to have sex with someone.
The desire for sex is powerful, for some it
can be as powerful as the need to eat and breath. Seduction is the road we
take to achieve sexual satisfaction.
While the ultimate goal is to have sex, there
are lots of smaller goals that need to be reached along the road to the sexual
surrender of our chosen partner.
For some, the thrill of seduction lies in the
chase rather than the conquest. The excitement of wanting and pursuing someone
can give a sense of satisfaction in itself. For others, it's the knowledge
that another persons sexual attentions are focused on them that gives that
electric thrill. Those who thoroughly enjoy the chase are generally people
with plenty of self-confidence. Their belief in themselves increases the
likelihood of success.
Those who are less self-confident usually find
seduction far more difficult. How can you convince a member of the opposite
sex to believe in you if they look upon yourself as being unattractive?
It's important that you choose the right person
to seduce. This is more a matter of instinct than anything else, but most
of us endeavour to make conversation, or at least some eye contact, with
a potential partner who we consider to be about as attractive as we feel
we are. |
| Once you've sought out your 'prey', you have
to decide whether the time and/or situation is right for seduction. If the
object of your passion is somebody you see on a regular basis, the time/place
being wrong may very well add to the thrill. If you're getting the right
feedback, the knowledge that the other person is interested but that you
can't do anything about it just yet can increase the feelings of arousal
and excitement.
But how do you know that he's interested? The
best clues come from reading body language. Non-verbal signals are far better
indicators of how a person feels about you than anything they may actually
say verbally. Those with an open posture are usually more available than
those who stand with their arms crossed. The eyes are the biggest give-away
when it comes to seduction. If he returns you gaze, and especially if he
holds eye contact with you longer than you'd normally expect, then chances
are you're on to a winner. Trust your instincts. You'll 'feel' whether he's
interested or not. Small gestures and tone of voice tell us a lot about how
the other person feels about us.
Flirt. Did I really need to mention that? Flirting
is used in two ways. We flirt with others to remind our partner that we still
need to be wooed by him, but when used for seduction, it's a means of keeping
the other person interested and aroused, as well as letting them know that
they are unlikely to be rejected. Men, who are generally the pursuers, are
highly dependent on your signals to reassure them that they are 'onto something'.
Playing hard-to-get isn't particularly attractive to men unless you're sending
out enough signals to assure him that you are 'gettable' and that the chase
will be worth it in the end.
Once you've made contact with him, you'll need
to let him know where the encounter is likely to be heading. People have
very different ideas of what sex should be, so it's important that you both
know that you're looking for the same things. This doesn't mean that you
should just blurt out "I'm a dominatrix, how d'ya fancy being whipped?",
or anything else quite as obvious. You can, and it might work, but in general,
the subtle approach is more likely to get you what you want. Men generally
take the lead in this area, asking questions and trying to access whether
you'd make a satisfactory sex partner. Follow his lead. The questions probably
won't be direct (depending upon the man), but they will be based around
'self-disclosure'. He tells you some, you tell him some. People typically
discuss sex in a light-hearted, abstract manner when accessing a potential
partner, testing each other in a non-committal way.
Now that you're speaking, you have to sustain
his interest. Two people who may have been attracted to each other visually,
may not have the right chemistry to move along the road of seduction once
mouths have been opened. Look for signs of acceptance or rejection. If you
pick up on any signs of rejection, don't waste your time on something that
is very unlikely to happen, no matter how much you fancy him. There are plenty
more available males about just waiting to be seduced.
If you're still doing fine and the signals are
good, it's time to move onto the final yielding. One of you must surrender.
In all probability it will be you, because even if you initialised the seduction,
he will probably have taken over the role of pursuer somewhere along the
line. The roles of 'hunter' and 'prey' have been decided through thousands
of years of evolution, and usually fall naturally into place. Surrender and
enjoy!
Sharon Jacobsen is editor of WeWomen.co.uk
(http://www.wewomen.co.uk) where women
can enjoy being women...... Contact Sharon on
sharon@wewomen.co.uk..
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